I noticed this incredibly beautiful woman on Facebook the other day and started chatting with her on messenger. We plan on meeting up at a concert this weekend. So far so good right?

I thought it would be a good idea to get to know each other  better before Saturday. Here is my message to her.

Greg DeLange
Greg DeLange
loading...

at this point I'm thinking PERFECT!! she's gonna get a little scared and then I can utilize my smooth moves on her. (respectfully)

Greg DeLange
Greg DeLange
loading...

I can protect her from that creepy clown!!...my plan is working.

Little did I know asking a woman to a scary movie on the first date is a big NO NO. According to friends and coworkers, I'm the worst for suggesting a scary movie.

Immediately I went into ninja mode...I need a different strategy! I know! I'll use my sweet pick-up lines!

"does this rag smell like chloroform to you"

 

"If you were a fruit you'd be a FINEAPPLE"

 

"my doctor says I need more vitamin U"

 

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material".

 

"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?"


"Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you."

 

"Is your nickname Chapstick? Because you’re da balm!"

 

"Did you read Dr. Seuss as a kid? Because green eggs and... damn!"

 

Pretty sure my evil plan is working ... I'm wearing her down.

 

More From 97.1 KXRX