To be able to fly, run faster than a speeding bullet, or x-ray vision would all be stellar super powers, but I like the idea of being able to place a beard on anyone's face, whenever I wanted.

Like King Midas who turns anything to gold that he touches, I'm dubbing this dood as King Beardas - Everything he touches turns to beard! Maybe I was once touched by King Beardas and that's why I can't get rid of mine...