If you're still using "poop" or "No.2" you should consider upgrading. Here are over 50 phrases ranging from the descriptive to the farcical.

  • Taking the Brown's to the Super Bowl
  • Dropping the kids off at the swimming pool
  • Dropping a deuce
  • Busting a grumpy
  • Glassing the surface
  • Cuttin' rope
  • Pinch off a loaf
  • Make an offering to the porcelain throne
  • Pushing a mess
  • Building a log cabin
  • Make underwater sculptures
  • Unload some timber
  • Make like Snoop and 'Drop it like it's hot'
  • Need to void
  • Make a deposit in the porcelain bank
  • Use the big, white telephone
  • Feed the French
  • Unloose the caboose
  • Drop the property value
  • Plant a tree
  • Play dough factory

Maybe you'd prefer animal references:

  • I've got to see a man about a horse
  • I've got to see a man about a wallaby
  • Growing a monkey tail
  • Murder a brown snake
  • Drive out the prairie dogs
  • Drown a baby otter
  • Gotta feed some bears
  • A brown dog scratching at the back door
  • Leave some gorilla fingers
  • Liberate the brown trout
  • Let the dogs out
  • Let the turtles loose
  • Laying some wolf bait
  • Slop some bum slugs

I find the business euphemisms more polite:

  • Sending a fax
  • Purge the council
  • Call my agent
  • Download some software
  • Getting something down on paper
  • Take care of some paperwork

Logically, you should expect a plethora of navy references:

  • Captain's log
  • Releasing the Kraken
  • Drop anchor
  • Drop some depth charges
  • Lay undersea cable
  • Insert a Navy Seal team
  • Deploying the USS Brownfish

My lease favorite are the food ones:

  • Negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages
  • Churn the dookey butter
  • Drop some potatoes in the crock pot
  • Off to see the chocolate gobbler
  • Craft a fudge pop
  • Drop a swamp pie
  • Drop a grande grumpy