Women like to be surprised, so they're sometimes intentionally vague about their holiday wishes. But women, you must understand how literal men are! Let's take my wife's wish list for example:

As of Wednesday she hadn't said A THING about what she wanted for Christmas. So I assumed that, like myself, she didn't really want anything and I proposed we take a trip in January as our present to each other. When I said that I got "the look."

So I asked for her wish list. I finally got it TODAY -- five days before Christmas!

  • Burt Bees chap stick
  • Gift certificate for a facial
  • stretchy skirt
  • Disneyland gift card so she can buy a few pins next time we're there
  • Seahawks hat

Chap stick and Seahawks hat? Check. Done.

What the heck is a Disneyland gift certificate? Does that even exist? I think she made it up! I'm going to make a fake one in Photoshop and paper clip a $20 bill to it.

Women, don't just say a "stretchy skirt" or you'll probably get one that looks like it's for a hooker.

Gift certificate for a facial? Where? What kind? When? ANYWHERE? I'll pick whatever's cheapest, or maybe closest to our house. Is that really what you want me doing?

Moral of the story? WOMEN NEED TO BE SPECIFIC!