Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
Metal Version of Aqua’s ‘Barbie Girl’ Surprisingly Rocks
This is the perfect way to relive those golden years back in the '90s before you hardened your heart and started listening exclusively to death metal. It's a metal guitar version of your 12-year-old self's favorite song -- 'Barbie Girl' by Scandinavian dance-pop group Aqua.
Minecraft Plus Beetlejuice Equals Our New Favorite Video
If you aren't playing Minecraft already, you'll want to be by the time this video's over. Two people hunkered down for two months (we imagine they didn't have time for anything else), and made this amazing Minecraft roller coaster in creative mode in the Xbox 360 version of the game.
Thumbs Not Guns in Movies Courtesy of Tumblr
We're going to take a moment to pretend we live in a world where these are movies that were actually made. The blog Thumbs and Ammo is comprised exclusively of stills taken from violent movies. Only the guns have been replaced with one or both thumbs up. Does this mean they were all comedies? Maybe just heartwarming tales of affirmation? Either way, they're hilarious.
Beachgoers Form Human Chain to Save Drowning Boy
If your morning commute on public transportation has you convinced that all people are basically terrible, you need to watch this video. Right. Now.
Porn Stars Before and After Makeup Will Blow Your Mind
First of all, we would like to apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you in your ... personal time. But we think these photos of porn stars with and without makeup are worth sharing. Totally SFW, they just might blow your mind. The photos come from a professional makeup artist who shares them via Instagram at xmelissamakeupx. You can find more here (although some are slightly NSFW).
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Girl Gives Herself ‘Atomic Wedgie’ Climbing Fence
A wedgie has to be one of the most humiliating, yet mostly harmless, experiences those people we gave all those wedgies too ever had. Don't believe us? Watch this NSFW video.
Germans Can’t Say Squirrel in Funny Video
To be fair, we can't say schadenfreude, but that doesn't mean we aren't having a good chuckle at these Germans struggling with the word "squirrel."
Man Asks Wife to Slap Him Every Morning, Films Results
This man asked his wife to slap him awake every day for 15 days. (We don't know why.) She filmed it every day. This sounds like it could get old. It doesn't get old. It gets amazing. Just watch.
Watch Seth MacFarlane’s 2013 Oscars Opening Monologue
Here it is. The bit that puts Seth MacFarlane either on a course to success or so many hours of suck. William Shatner seemed like an ... odd choice, but maybe it's a sign that this is just the beginning of a four-hour episode of 'Family Guy.'
10 Dumb Tweets About Kurt Cobain for His Birthday
Ugh, come on people. Kurt Cobain is trending pretty hard on Twitter today, since it's his birthday, but we doubt the authenticity of some of these "fans." Here are some dumb, dumb tweets dedicated to Cobain on his birthday. (We left out the twenty gazillion tweets of the quote "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are," because it's depressing how people aren
The Best Candy Heart Rejects on Twitter
It's Valentine's Day, and we all know what that means. #CandyHeartsRejects is trending on Twitter, again. At this point it's basically a Valentine's tradition, like buying chocolates or getting into a blackout fight.
The Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts on the Web
If you're feeling a little pressure to impress this Valentine's Day, let us lend you a hand. Here are some things you DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BUY. So just cross those right off your list of gift ideas.