My best friend has had a lot of pets he shouldn't have. One time I found an alligator in his house. I said, "You know it's illegal to have this, don't you?" He said, "Yeah, I know." That's my friend for you.

I was sitting on his floor when I saw something move in his 55 gallon aquarium.

"You've got a crocodile!"

"That's not a crocodile."

"It's not an alligator!"

"Yeah it is."

I'd been in his room half a dozen times and never noticed it! The thing never moved before, and he always kept a ton of crap on top of it, so I thought the tank was just empty!

"It's been out of his cage before when you've been here."

"You mean I've been sitting on your floor eating a sandwich or something and a live alligator has been in this room with me?"

"Yeah, a bunch of times," he said. "You want to hold it?"

I said no, but next thing I knew I was holding this big, wiggly alligator. Its tail was like three feet long. "K, take it back!" I said.

My friend always keeps his house at like 80 degrees, so the thing just chilled in the water and occasionally took a walk around the house.