Hermiston to Get New Fire-Proof Playground
Now why in the world would Hermiston need a fireproof playground? I will tell you why it's because mean people keep setting the old ones on fire! As ridiculous as it may seem, a Hermiston playground has been plagued by arsonists. I guess the firebugs just couldn't resist the original all wooden playground that was built in the 1990s. Yep, they torched it. Then, when it was finally rebuilt, they torched it again and that was just a couple of years ago. But now federal funding of nearly a quarter-million dollars is going to bring a challenge to the vandals and arsonists! This new playground will be built out of fireproof and vandalism-resistant materials. And if that sounds like a challenge for the evil hooligans that want to ruin all the fun for the kids, they're also going to have the playground better lit and add surveillance cameras to boot! I figure that if they can make cars that will correct your steering when you cross a line, then it surely can't be too hard to make an indestructible playground, right? So look out Hermiston meth-heads and punk a$$ trouble makers...the next time you jack with Jill's new playground, video surveillance will probably land you in a place that you're probably already familiar with!
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