A little girl at preschool is telling my daughter her hair is "messy." I told her she's wrong, I told her not to listen, I told her not to let others influence the way you think about yourself. But these are difficult concepts for a 4-year-old. It's got me frustrated. It's taxing as an adult to see my daughter bothered by something that doesn't matter -- by another little child whose opinion doesn't matter. And it's all my fault because I do her hair.
So my wife does her hair now. That means we've had to adjust our morning routine. I'm OK with that. I was doing a crappy job -- I know that. Many times my daughter came home with different hair than I dropped her off because the teachers redid it for her.

But when the problem is some other 4 year old making your child feel bad, it sucks.

And now my daughter is OBSESSED with her hair. The pony tail has to be just right with no hair dangling -- we're using tons of hair spray to keep it just right.
When she gets in and out of the car she's always yelling, "Don't mess up my hair!"

How do I get her to understand what this girl thinks about her hair doesn't matter?

I think she's jealous of my daughter, but I'm not about to bad mouth the other kid either to my daughter or on here.