Dirty Sounding Town Names That Make the Northwest Naughty
WARNING: This list is NSFW. At least, NSFMW. Maybe your office is a little looser, in which case it's totally SFYW.
Also: This list isn't "woke." It's brain dead. The kind of cheap jokes that would make a 12-year-old giggle, while mom shakes her head disapprovingly. You know, like a fart.
If you're offended by dirty jokes, potty humor, or a general mockery of places you hold dear... Um... I would pick another article to read. This one is really going to piss you off.
For everyone else, enjoy!
Athol - Kootenai County, ID
Imagine a bully just knocked your teeth out in a fight, and as your bully walks away, you shake your fist and yell, "A**hole!"
That's how you pronounce the lovely, but unfortunately named town of Athol.
More or less.
Crapper - Hood River, OR
Sticking with the theme, couldn't they have called it Bidet? That sounds classier than Crapper.
Humptulips - Grays Harbor, WA
Go ahead. Humptulips. But only if no one's looking. And only with the tulip's consent.
Inchelium - Ferry County, WA
This sounds like a shrine to size. "Welcome to the Inchelium!"
Y'know, there was a famous groupie who made plaster molds of rockstars' private parts. Inchelium would be a perfect name for a museum of her work.
Kahlotus - Franklin County, WA
I can't decide if Kahlotus sounds like something you'd find in the Kama Sutra or a community health clinic.
Either way, I genuinely feel bad for making fun of it. But I can't resist a good joke. Or a bad one.
Steilacoom - Pierce County, WA
Pronounced still-a-cum. That's not a joke. Write your own.
Tokeland - Pacific County, WA
Tokeland is what Washington would've been called if weed was legal in 1889. While not dirty sounding, it does sound like mom and dad would not approve of your recreational activities.
Nooksack - Whatcom County, WA
Nothing hurts worse than getting kicked in the Nooksack.
Did I Miss Any?
I'm sure there are more Northwest towns that have names that sound dirty.
If you think of one that I missed, drop a note in the comments and maybe we'll do a part two. As in deuce. As in "drop a..."
But for now, my wife is telling me to act my age.
And she's enrolled me in sensitivity training.