If you're still using "poop" or "No.2" you should consider upgrading. Here are over 50 phrases ranging from the descriptive to the farcical.

  • Taking the Brown's to the Super Bowl
  • Dropping the kids off at the swimming pool
  • Dropping a deuce
  • Busting a grumpy
  • Glassing the surface
  • Cuttin' rope
  • Pinch off a loaf
  • Make an offering to the porcelain throne
  • Pushing a mess
  • Building a log cabin
  • Make underwater sculptures
  • Unload some timber
  • Make like Snoop and 'Drop it like it's hot'
  • Need to void
  • Make a deposit in the porcelain bank
  • Use the big, white telephone
  • Feed the French
  • Unloose the caboose
  • Drop the property value
  • Plant a tree
  • Play dough factory

Maybe you'd prefer animal references:

  • I've got to see a man about a horse
  • I've got to see a man about a wallaby
  • Growing a monkey tail
  • Murder a brown snake
  • Drive out the prairie dogs
  • Drown a baby otter
  • Gotta feed some bears
  • A brown dog scratching at the back door
  • Leave some gorilla fingers
  • Liberate the brown trout
  • Let the dogs out
  • Let the turtles loose
  • Laying some wolf bait
  • Slop some bum slugs

I find the business euphemisms more polite:

  • Sending a fax
  • Purge the council
  • Call my agent
  • Download some software
  • Getting something down on paper
  • Take care of some paperwork

Logically, you should expect a plethora of navy references:

  • Captain's log
  • Releasing the Kraken
  • Drop anchor
  • Drop some depth charges
  • Lay undersea cable
  • Insert a Navy Seal team
  • Deploying the USS Brownfish

My lease favorite are the food ones:

  • Negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages
  • Churn the dookey butter
  • Drop some potatoes in the crock pot
  • Off to see the chocolate gobbler
  • Craft a fudge pop
  • Drop a swamp pie
  • Drop a grande grumpy


READ ON: See the States Where People Live the Longest

Stacker used data from the 2020 County Health Rankings to rank every state's average life expectancy from lowest to highest. The 2020 County Health Rankings values were calculated using mortality counts from the 2016-2018 National Center for Health Statistics. The U.S. Census 2019 American Community Survey and America's Health Rankings Senior Report 2019 data were also used to provide demographics on the senior population of each state and the state's rank on senior health care, respectively.

Read on to learn the average life expectancy in each state.

Gallery Credit: Hannah Lang

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