Utah May Make it Illegal for Cops to Masturbate in Their Cars

Uh, this needs to be legislated?

Apparently so.

Basically, every quarter the agency in charge of policing the Utah police (Peace Officer Standards and Training or POST) modifies existing guidelines or applies new policies where and when needed. And since there is NOT something on the books that keeps cops from masturbating and/or sexting while on duty, Utah is heck bent on making sure the long arm of the law stays in its, uh, pants.

So if T.J., who needs a hooker, engages in sexting or skippy whipping practices while on the cockclock, that will be considered sexual misconduct warranting discipline.

"Some, very few" officers (Starsky and Hutch?) have had issues that need to be addressed including, but not limited to: Inappropriate communications with confidential informants, colleagues and others; groping co-workers; sending sexual photos or emojis and attempting games of chicken by the police in a golf cart with an inmate who was injured ultimately by said golf cart.

The final straw was the nervous laughter, followed by awkward silence coming from the POST Council when the issue of an officer who "pleasures themselves out of sight while on duty in their car" came up.

We will let you know if these practices get adopted at the next meeting in September.

So if confronted by a policeman in Utah who barks the order, "Hands Up!", is the proper reply now, "You First"?