Dear Meadow Springs Country Club Stick Swingers,

I'll bet it's sweet knowing you can get back on the links beginning tomorrow, May 5th, and with social distancing being the new normal for now, tee times will be for twosomes only, going off every six minutes.

Cool. So, when it's time to cross the busy street, two times to get to the next tee box, I know you're itching to get on with it, but ponder this for a moment.

3. Caddyshack (1980)
Warner Bros.

You hit the button to trigger the flashing yellow lights alerting drivers you want to cross the street to get to the next hole. Don't be an a-hole while going to the next hole.

Where's the patience? Why the dash like it's live action Frogger? I'm going 40mph and you just press the knob and then start-a-sauntering with some strange sashay expecting me to jam on the binders? That doesn't work for anybody. You're golfing. Drivers don't care about your urgent need to cross the street. We will slow as it pertains to traffic. Settle down, please. It's literally a few seconds, tops.

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I mean, I have a hard time understanding the mentality of people who seemingly care little about having to endure eyeballing from the fairway some duffer line up a 4 foot putt, and look at it from every conceivable angle, then go through their pre-putt routine, then back away because a bee buzzed the ball, then they have to repeat the whole bloody ritual.

Or maybe it's because of that.

But no, when it's time to cross Leslie, you hit the button to start the yellow flash and then in a cart, with a walking cart or hoofing it, you just start barreling across the street. Dude, your golf game is not an emergency, and if you have to wait a moment for people to slow, not slam on the brake pedal, we drivers would appreciate it.


Richland Drivers (not the one in the bag you can't hit worth a damn)

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