It’s Courtney Stodden’s big day and we’ve taken the liberty of creating a birthday checklist for her.

Dear Courtney, 18 is a big year! You can vote, join the armed services, graduate from high school, and lots of other important milestones. Here are a few things we’d recommend to make sure your 18th year is fun (for you and us!) After making the list, we realized you’ve already completed some of them, because you’re so ambitious. We’ll list them anyway. For fun.

18+ GOAL: Pose in seductive photos online.

STATUS: Complete!

18+ GOAL: Get married

STATUS: Complete!

18+ GOAL: Star in an adult film

STATUS: Pending

18+ GOAL:
Become an advocate for a cause you’re passionate about

STATUS: Com…plete?

18+ GOAL:
Get divorced and write a tell-all memoir titled, ‘I am Courtney Stodden: You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea.”

STATUS: We’re sure it’s pending.