Today’s celebrity cleavage belongs to a 19-year-old singer and actress whose barely legal and delectable rack has been rumored to cause pocket pool tendencies and rosy palms in men ages ten to dead.

She got her start in show business as a pre-teen, and by the time she was fifteen there were pictures of her taped up in the whack shacks (bedroom) of every young boy’s bedroom across America. In the fall of 2008, her debut record, co-written by the Jonas Brothers, was released on Hollywood Records. It peaked at number two on the Billboard 200, selling 89,000 copies during the first week of its release.

Since then, this pop goddess has gone on to release two additional records, star in various movies that no one in this office would ever watch and give unruly stiffies to a cornucopia of dirty old men all over the world.