Really Lazy Gifts from Washington

Got family you don't know that well? How much time are you supposed to invest finding gifts for people whose kids you've never seen. You need to simplify. Go with geography gifts: people love receiving Florida oranges, Georgia peaches and New Jersey tanning lotion. If it's from the place where you're from, then people think you're sending it so they'll think of you. It's totally illogical and works every time... kind of like your worst pick-up lines. At least Washington has cool stuff. I came from Salt Lake City where we send salt water taffy and... well, I guess that's it. There's fish food made from brine shrimp in the Great Salt Lake, but not everyone has fish. Here are our top 10 really lazy gift ideas for people outside of Washington who you don't really care enough about:

Gift ideas for slugs

1. Apples

Duh. It's No. 1 on our list because it's the easiest. Only they're not hard to come by. In the words of Peter Boyle when Ray Romano signs his "Everybody Loves Raymond" parents up for Fruit-of-the-Month Club: "We can't go out and get our own fruit?"

2. Wine

Any Cabernet from 2007 or 2008 is good. Our office recommends Preston Winery in Pasco, Hogue Cellars in Prosser and the Horse Heaven Hills Appellation. Just be careful to buy enough to have some to mail.

3. Chukar Cherries

Located in Prosser, Chukar got a lot of votes from our staff.

4. Northwest Smoked Salmon

After apples, nothing says Eastern Washington like pink fish. There are several options; we suggest shopping at MadeInWashington.com.

5. Cougar Gold Cheese

Support the Washington State University Creamery.

6. Adam's Place Country Gourmet

This Kennewick business sells a wide variety of holiday-themed treats made locally. This is a great idea for children, but everyone likes food and candy.

7. Chocolate

Boehm's Candies are mostly made in Issaquah but there is a store in Richland. Seattle Chocolates are also popular, and let's be honest, Seattle is the only place in Washington other Americans can find on a map. The Tri-Cities are Yakima, Spokane and Tacoma, right?

8. Applets and Cotlets

Liberty Orchards is in Cashmere, Washington. I'd rather not share a box.

9. Mount St. Helens Glass

If you can't afford to send an original Chihuly, this stuff is good too.

10. Locally-roasted coffee

There's the Walla Walla Roastery to the east, and St. John the Forerunner Monastery to the west. Father Michael's blend is guaranteed to deliver some good karma.

Ideas we were too lazy to fit in the list:

The Allied Arts Gallery in Richland has knit items, bags, jewelry, glassware, pottery, thumb pianos and more. Staff claim to have purchased wreaths made from local hops or vines, but I couldn't find any online. Good luck finding some.

Filed Under: chocolates, Fishing, Food & Wine, horse heaven hills, Kennewick, pasco, prosser, richland, salmon, wine

Categories: Holidays