This time of year I always find myself babysitting the kids of friends or relatives who drop by while vacationing. "You won't mind watching the kids while (fill in the blank) and I go to the mall, right?" I've compiled a list of stuff every kid likes you can do for an afternoon.

  • 1

    Watching cartoons on Youtube

    May I recommend "Daria." If their parents wouldn't go for that, few object to "King of the Hill." See if you can find "Animaniacs."

  • 2

    Throwing wads of paper into a trash can

    Pages of a newspaper and a trash can across the room will entertain children for a solid 30 minutes, guaranteed.

  • 3

    Walk to the store for chocolate milk

    All kids enjoy walks. All kids enjoy chocolate milk.

  • 4

    Walk to the store for Lucky Charms

    All kids like walks. All kids like Lucky Charms. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, buy Cinnamon Toast Crunch. They'll want to eat the entire box and will either throw up, get a sugar high and destroy your house, throw a fit because you won't let them eat the whole box or at best will engorge themselves and won't eat their dinner. Lucky Charms is fine.

  • 5

    Petting a dog

    Don't have a dog? Just walk to the nearest neighbor with one. Kids like walks.

  • 6

    Going through old crap in boxes

    Kids watch a lot of TV shows and movies where enchanted books, magical jewelry or treasure maps are found in weird old people's boxes of old crap. Kids are dumb and think there are magical items hidden in every house's attic. Going through old crap will be nostalgic for you and they'll be on the edge of their seat waiting for the enchanted book or treasure map to appear at the bottom of the box.

  • 7

    Video Games

    Duh.

  • 8

    Bubbles

    Make bubbles in a bucket, or put soap in a paint tray and bend a metal hanger into a diamond to make a giant bubble wand.

  • 9

    Walk to the store for ice cream

    Kids like walks, kids like ice cream.

  • 10

    Throwing crap into bodies of water

    Live anywhere near a pond, stream, river, lake, canal, giant puddle? Kids will spend HOURS throwing sticks and rocks into the muck.