Bring Bret Boone to Your Bar Mitzvah

There's a company called Thuzio that allows people to book current and former athletes to dine/tweet/golf/speak/appear at events. There are a few Hall of Famers like Lynn Swann, Rollie Fingers and Cris Carter. There are also some prolific players like Pete Rose, Frank Thomas, and Tiki Barber.

However, most athletes represented by this site are scrubs and throw-aways looking to make some easy cash off of their all but forgotten names. Remember John Rocker? Yeah, he could be at your next birthday for the low price of $800 telling all about how much he hates New York City.

Prices go from the low hundreds to tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the athletes, naturally. It's a cool idea, and if you've got the dough, whip out the plastic and you can have current stars like Patrick Peterson, Kevin Youkillis, and Robert "Mighty" Quinn hanging out with you for the day.

I'll go back to banking on my plans of being a professional baseball player and just beating these guys at being awesome.